MG Chaos: The New Guy
by The Arsenal 3.0
Summary: Complete! Snake, Liquid, and Solidus are the star agents at Foxhound. At least until a certain rookie shows up...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Metal Gear or any of its characters.

Ch.1 The New Recruit

Snake and his brothers lived in a regular neighborhood just like everybody else, paid their taxes just like everybody else, and resided in a two story house like…a lot of other people. Considering that four people lived in the same house, egos tended to clash and today was no different.

The twin brothers stood in the garage admiring any ladies that happened to pass by. As usual, Snake is smoking.

"Father is coming home early today," said Liquid.

"What's so urgent that he has to leave Foxhound in the middle of the day?" Snake asked.

"The hell if I know! And why do you keep smoking those?" Liquid looked at Snake disgusted.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'd give one to my twin sister but she's too bitchy about smoking. Do you want one?"

"Are you insane?! You're going to get lung cancer!"

"You might since you're soft. I'm invincible."

Liquid scoffed, "Oh please, I've never been sick a day in my life despite the fact that I have the RECESSIVE genes!"

Snake grinned. "So what's stopping you?"

"The mere fact that I MIGHT die of tobacco poisoning and be forced to share an eternity with YOU!"

"You're breaking my heart." Snake blew smoke toward Liquid who cursed under his breath.

Suddenly a car pulled up the driveway with Solidus taking the wheel, Big Boss in the passenger seat, and an unknown person sitting in the back. Solidus and Big Boss stepped out.

"Hello 'younger' brothers," said Solidus.

Liquid smirked, "Hello 'OLD' brother! What in the world are you wearing?"

"A special suit modified by Foxhound. Strength and speed and tentacles, boo yah! I'm the only one with the mental capacity to use it!"

"Addaboy, aim LOW. You'll make the perfect brute!"

Big Boss intervened, "Come on 'children', play nice!"

Snake looked concerned. "You're not sending me on a mission are you? You're always dragging me off to do something on my days off!"

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it. By the way, I have someone I want you to meet."

The third passenger stepped out of the car and came up next to Big Boss. Looking pleased, Big Boss began the introduction.

"Snake, Liquid, meet Raiden, Foxhound's newest recruit! By the way Snake, he's your new partner."

Jaws literally hit the pavement as Liquid and Snake stared dumbfounded. After an uncomfortable minute passed, Snake finally spoke.

"Him?! You've got to be kidding me! Solid Snake works alone!"

"Not for a while now. Besides, what's wrong with him? He's completed over 300 VR missions! He just needs a partner with some experience."

"Please, I could do all that with my eyes closed."

Raiden looked offended. "How rude! I don't see what's so legendary about……"

Snake cut him off, "Quiet soldier! I am now testing you! You now have 5 seconds to get back in that car and see how fast you can drive to the end of the road! This is crucial for escape situations should a mission require it!"

"A test?! Really?! WOW!"

Raiden jumped back into the car drove toward the end of the road while hitting another car backing out of a driveway.

"Sucker."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "You made him crash my car."

Snake's smile turned into a frown.

"That's okay son, I'll just take a little from your paycheck."

"FUCK!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Metal Gear or any of its properties, just the plot! Without further ado, here's Chapter 2:P

Ch. 2 VR Training

A computer screen comes up which reads:

**Sneaking Mode:** No Weapon, Level #09

**Info:** Hide inside a cardboard box and head for the goal! Even if you are hiding, you will be caught if you move!

Classic Metal Gear music fills the speakers as a little figure of Snake appears onscreen. Dead ahead is a hallway lined with cameras. Raiden stares at the screen in utter facination.

"Omigosh! I don't think I've ever done this one! Will he make it?! It looks HARD!"

Snake hides inside a cardboard box and effortlessly traverses the camera-filled hallway pausing every now and then as the cones of vision pass over him. In less than a minute he makes it to the goal.

Raiden claps enthusiastically as Snake exits the VR Room. "Wow dude that was awsome!"

Snake shrugs. "It was nothing, really."

A voice cut in, "Yeah, it's pretty common if you've ever watched Snake!"

Raiden turns to see a lab tech-looking guy who walks in and shakes his hand. "Name's Hal, but you can call me Otacon!"

"Did you say, Octagon?" Raiden asked.

"No, Otacon!"

"Ottocon?"

"Otacon!"

Raiden started to sweat. "Otomatapiacon?"

"For the love of..." Hal writes on a piece of paper and hands it to Raiden.

"Oooohhh..."

Snake rolled his eyes. "Now that you two are done with the spelling contest, I'm out of here."

"Well later, then!" Otacon and Snake engaged in their special handshake from MGS 2 just before they parted ways.

Raiden continued to stare in awe. "Ooo! Can you teach me that?!"

"Um...I have to go over there, now..." Otacon quickly went to the computer and sat down but was startled when Raiden immediately appeared at his side.

"You know, I've always wondered what we looked like in VR! Hee! Hee! It looks like a video game! Say, what does that button with the picure of a gun do?"

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!" Otacon immediately stopped his hand. "Look...can I tell you a secret?"

Raiden stared at him with huge, curious eyes and quickly nodded.

"I...OCCASIONALLY...upload a video game every now and then. You know, with me being at a console all day..."

The rookie nodded.

"It's also possible to manipulate the VR program with the same controls while someone's in there like adding a new gun, increasing the difficulty to insane levels, etc."

Raiden nodded again.

"I'm not looking to make enemies, especially considering the hot head Liquid is. Now, I'm off to the restroom. You can use the program but DON'T alter it!" Otacon left the room leaving Raiden to his thoughts.

"Don't mess with the program. Got it!" Raiden stretched. "Well, all this VR talk has got me in the mood!" Before Raiden could step inside, Liquid appeared and beat him to the punch.

"Number one agent coming through!"

"Hey! I was going in!" Raiden protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that...WAIT YOUR BLOODY TURN!" Liquid stepped inside and started up the program:

**Advanced Mode:** FA-MAS, Level #02

**Info:** Eliminate all enemy soldiers and head for the goal! Enemies (3).

Raiden sat at the console looking bored while Liquid starting gunning people down. Looking around cautiously, Raiden slowly pressed a button with a picture of a guard. Six more guards spawned.

Liquid stared speechless as he was suddenly surrounded.

"Intruder spotted!"

"BLOODY HELL!!"

Liquid ran like hell around three separate square structures which provided his only cover. Though he was eventually cornered and shot.

**MISSON FAILED**

"Whoa, that was like that guy being shot to death before he became Robocop!"

Liquid exited the VR Room with smoke coming from his body.

"IT WAS A GLITCH! BYE!" Raiden quickly ran off.

"I'll...kill...you..." Liquid fell over.

* * *

Does anyone know what game the aforementioned missions are from? 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything of or related to Metal Gear. Thanks to everyone for waiting patiently!

Ch. 3 The Mission

Snake and Solidus sit patiently in a briefing room awaiting everyone else's arrival. Liquid enters and sits in between them just before pulling out a bottle and stuffing a bunch of pills down his throat.

"You still in one piece?" Snake asked.

"I'll manage," Liquid said bitterly. "If it weren't for that little..."

Solidus smirked, "You two got off easy."

"Oh yeah?" Liquid turned toward Solidus and froze. "WHAT...THE HELL...IS UP WITH YOUR EYE?!"

Solidus rubbed his eye patch before replying, "Like I said, you two got off easy!"

**Flashback**

In the training courtyard, Solidus is busy gunning down targets until a certain someone walks up.

"What's up, rookie?"

"Oh nothing. I thought I'd brush up on my shooting!" Raiden tilted his head. "Say...what kind of bullets are you using?"

"Rubber bullets!" Solidus replied. "Wanna try?"

"Do I!" Raiden took the handgun enthusiastically.

"Now when you use rubber bullets it's safer to fire at the ground so that it ricochets into the target." Solidus instructed.

"What happens if I..." Raiden accidentally fired sending the bullet ricocheting several times until it pops Solidus in the eye.

"AAAAAHHH!!!"

"OMIGOSH!!"

Raiden runs back into the building searching frantically until he spots Otacon.

"Octagon!"

"Otacon!"

"Whatever! Solidus hurt his eye and you gotta help him!"

"I'm not that kind of doctor!"

"Let me use your water!" Raiden grabbed Otacon's coffee mug and ran off.

"Wait! That's not...! Oh God..."

The rookie quickly made his way back outside where Solidus was still in pain.

"MY EYE'S ON FIRE!!"

"Maybe this will help!" Raiden threw what he thought was water in Solidus's face.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"

"WAIT! THAT'S NOT WATER!"

Otacon appeared in the doorway. "That's what I TRIED to tell you!"

A burned and bruised Solidus looked at Raiden with violent intent. "Who's...coffee...was...that..."

Raiden looked at Otacon hoping he could bail him out but Hal had other plans.

"His! It was all him!"

Solidus chased Raiden through the building.

**End Flashback**

Liquid raised an eyebrow. "Damn! Does it suck to be you!"

"Okay, smartass."

Raiden cautiously peeked through the doorway catching the attention of all three brothers who stare at him silently. With his back pressed against the wall he slowly inched his way toward the back of the briefing room as they watched his every movement. All three looked at each other and then rose out of their seats. Raiden suddenly felt small in his seat they appeared to stare right through him. Whatever they were planning was quickly spoiled by the presence of Big Boss who just walked in. All three quickly returned to their seat.

"Okay, people, it seems we have a hostage situation! The group called Dead Cell have taken over a nearby office building and have requested our presence."

"Have they made any other demands?" Snake asked.

"No. I don't know what their up to but we're sending you four in there to even the odds and end the situation before it escalates! You will rendezvous with poli..."

Raiden interrupted, "The police know about us?!"

"They think we're a...'special unit'..." Big Boss replied.

"Special unit?"

"SPECIAL...UNIT! And that this is a special situation."

"Oh okay."

"Any other questions? Then get going, people!"

All four exit the Foxhound building while Liquid speaks his mind.

"The members of Dead Cell versus the sons of Big Boss! This should be interesting!"

"What about me?" Raiden asked.

"What about you?! You can watch the professionals at work and see how we handle the situation! Oh and take notes while you're at it!"

Raiden sighs and pulls out his notepad.

"I'll devastate them with my superhuman abilities and astound them with my sword wielding skills!" said Solidus.

"I'll...surprise them with my uncanny ability to survive near death situations!" said Liquid.

Snake thought for a bit. "I'll...uh...do it the old-fashioned way! Use whatever weapons and equipment at my disposal to diffuse the situation!"

"You are the very meaning of the term 'old school!'" taunted Liquid.

Raiden joined in. "Uh, I could help! I could...cut the terrorists...with this sword I bought...from an antique shop?"

All three stared at Raiden disapprovingly. The rookie hung his head down.

In a dramatic scene of slow motion, the sons of Big Boss walk towards a helicopter preparing to take off. The wind flows through their outfits giving them a tough appearance. Raiden struggles to catch up and accidentally trips knocking into the three from behind. All of them are seen falling in slow motion.

Snake shoves Liquid off of him and says, "We are so screwed."

* * *

Will Raiden pull through for everyone in the end? What do the police think about the situation? And just what exactly is Dead Cell up to? Stay tuned for the next chapter:

INFILTRATION!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Note:** Sorry to keep everyone waiting, construction work can be a doozy. Talk about a cliffhanger, I just left everyone hanging until after the year ended, lol! Happy New Year to all by the way. :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own crap. So if you're ready for more, here's Ch. 4! (How cheesy :P)

Ch. 4 Infiltration

At the office building downtown, several police cars are gathered.

A blonde female officer with a pony tail can help but think aloud, "This is a very bad situation, not a very good one. Not a very good one at all."

Her male partner replies, "No shit, sherlock!"

"Why so mean?"

"Look I'm just trying to make sense of what the hell these people are asking for! They're demanding the prescence of something called the Fox...and the Hound...or some bullshit like that!"

"The Fox and the Hound? Oh that was such a cute Disney movie! My niece and I saw it the other day!"

"..."

"Why don't they make Disney movies like that anymore? You know, when I was a little girl..."

"Please shut up."

The Foxhound helicopter comes into view and hovers above the street. Unfortunately, all four agents exit the copter at once and land in a crumpled heap.

"Yay!" Raiden exclaims, "Let's do it again!"

Liquid rubs his rear. "This is the second fucking time already!"

"Ah, you'll live." Snake responded as he made his way towards the officers.

"I'm officer Dean. This is officer Betty."

"Heeeellllllooooo!!" Betty exclaimed.

Stressed out of his mind, Dean shoved his partner across the hood of a nearby car. "Who are you guys?"

"We're the Special Unit!" Raiden cut in.

"'Special Unit?'"

"'SPECIAL...UNIT!'" This time Raiden used quotation marks which gained him quite a few stares. Snake simply rolled his eyes.

_Oh great, now they think we're retarded,_ Liquid thought.

"Keep your people back, we'll handle it," Snake instructed.

"PLEASE handle it. If I go in there I'm gonna have to gun down every single one of those bastards THEN I'm gonna get MY ass chewed for being the typical bad cop who takes the initiative but is shunned for it!"

"Um...yeah...you might want to get a CAT scan while you're at it." Snake left the officer to register what he said while he met with the others.

Another officer, whose face was partially hidden by his cap, approached Snake. "The clock is ticking guys. People are starting to ask questions." The officer departed.

"Thanks, Fox"

"Who's Fox?" Raiden asked.

"The guy who informed us of the situation. I'll explain later. Liquid and Solidus take the side, Raiden and I will take the front. Let's move out!"

The two groups split up. While Liquid and Solidus recklessly broke their way in, Snake and Raiden carefully inched their way near the entrance.

"We need a distraction," Snake noted.

"Okay!" Raiden walked to the entrance but was immediately pulled back around the corner.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Snake demanded.

"...Something..."

"Situations like these require you to think on your feet. So what was your plan? Getting shot?"

"Tell the guards that they...uh...won a million dollars and...uh...lure them around the corner so...um...we can take their uniforms...and...um...go in undetected?"

Snake stared at Raiden silently for what seemed like an hour before responding. "Sigh, I'LL handle it." In pure badass fashion, Snake threw a chaff and flash grenades through the entrance and rolled into the lobby in a crouch position where he gunned down four guards.

Raiden stared in awe. "That was AWSOME!! That was like a James Bond movie or something!"

"Shut up and follow me before the chaff grenades wear off!"

"Oh right."

Raiden joined Snake in carrying the guard's bodies to a nearby stairwell. Both prepared to climb the stairs until they noticed a guard standing a few steps above them.

"EEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!!"

Snake and Raiden stared dumbstruck at the guard. His contact on the radio seemed equally confused.

"Um...what?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!!"

"Um...can you say it again please, this time in English?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSIIIIIIII..."

The guard's scream was cut short by the sound of Snake's gun blasting him in the head.

Raiden sighed. "Oh thank GOD, man! That was torture!"

"Hasta luego."

"What?"

"Nevermind..."

Both resumed their travel up the stairs only to encounter a new, huge, obstacle waiting for them at the top.

"Hello son of Big Boss!"

"Oh great."

"Who's that?"

"Fatman!"

The "Emperor of Exposives" laughed maniacally, his massive body shaking violently.

Raiden cringed. "Ew, he's so fat!"

"..."

Snake pointed "What are you up to, Fatass?"

"How dare you! As the number one bomber in the world, I shall send you both to your graves! Oh, how I have LONGED for this day, to face off against Foxhound's finest!"

"Why's that?" Snake asked.

"You won't find this on record anywhere but I once tried to join Foxhound! They didn't accept me because I was too smart for them!"

Snake smirked. "Really? Are you sure it's because they didn't have anything in your size?"

"Silence, insect! Now I will show you why they call me the 'Emperor of Explosives!'"

"Yeah, that fat rear of yours looks like it could hold up traffic!"

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!" Fatman screamed emotionally.

_What a wimp_, Raiden thought.

Fortune suddenly appeared behind Fatman in all her mentally unstable glory. Without saying a word, she swung her big boot up Fatman's backside sending him rolling toward Snake and Raiden. Realizing the enormous danger they were in, both tore back down the stairs and jumped for dear life into the lobby. The huge brute missed them by inches.

"This is like a scene from Indiana Jones!"

"You watch too many movies, kid!" Snake snapped.

Fatman continued rolling and smashed through the wall coming to a stop outside.

"Freeze!" Dean screamed.

The Fat terrorist irritably rose to his feet and pulled out a bomb. "This is it! Heaven hangs over your heads today, motherfuckers!!"

"Fire!"

All of cops emptied their ammunition. Unfortunately, the hundreds of dents in the brute's fat hide popped back outward. Fatman simply giggled.

"There's no effect!"

"I'm sick of the man giving me the finger. So here's your finger, BEYATCH!!"

While Fatman flicked off the cops, Snake noticed Raiden's blade.

"Quick, kid, give your sword!"

"This old thing? I doubt it's gonna..."

Snake snatched the sword and threw with all his might, piercing Fatman's gut. After several minutes of silence, a gust of air burst out of the hole sending Fatman flying through the streets smashing into an eighteen wheeler that exploded on impact.

Raiden mused, "He wasn't a Fatman after all, just misunderstood!"

"What the hell are you talking bout? Where are you from?!"

"No idea!"

"God help me..."

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Dead Cell Walking 


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: **Here it is, the final chapter! Thanks for taking the time to read!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to Metal Gear and I never will. :( (Except for the games I bought! XD)

Ch. 5 Dead Cell Walking

With the fat guy dispatched, Snake and Raiden make their way to a security room inhabited by a single guard whose legs are sprung up on the console. Snake kicks the already sleeping guard out of the chair like a rag doll which knocks him unconscious even further. The veteran agent checks the cameras and notices some hostages in the basement.

_Let's see how adept this kid really is_, Snake thought. "Raiden!"

"What's up?"

"There's some hostages in the basement and I want YOU to take of it!"

"Really? You can count on me!"

While the rookie heads for the basement, Snake contacts his brothers on codec, "Liquid? Solidus? Meet me in the security room on the first floor."

"Roger," Liquid replied.

"That sounds like water. Are you in the restroom?"

"My prostate's acting up. A little tinkle turned into twenty more."

"..."

Minutes later, Liquid and Solidus enter the security room and join Snake in watching Raiden on screen.

"How did your little piss ritual go?"

"I don't have to defend myself to you!"

"Whatever. So on a scale from one to ten, how will the rookie fare? Ten being the highest."

Liquid and Solidus answered unanimously, "ONE!!!"

"Ouch."

Meanwhile, downstairs, Raiden reaches the basement area and enters a room filled with greenish water going up to his waist. He looks around the room and notices four hostages who are chained to the wall in each corner.

"Must pick one...must pick one...Here I go!"

Raiden moved as quickly as he could toward the hostage on his right, which basically meant that he moved at a snail's pace.

Three minutes later...

Upon reaching the hostage, a middle eastern man, Raiden used a small hand laser to cut through the chains.

"There you go! Hail Allah! Or whatever you're into..."

While the man gave the agent a "What the hell?" look, Raiden immediately headed for the far hostage on his side of the room.

Five minutes later...

Raiden frees the hostage and takes off towards the other side of the room.

Five minutes later...

The rookie took a few seconds to catch his breath before freeing the hostage.

"Just one more...Here I come!"

Five minutes later...

Raiden reached the final hostage but took some time to catch his breath.

Two minutes later...

Raiden removed the duct tape from the woman's mouth and started to cut the chains.

The woman looked at him irritably and said, "Uh...here's a basic problem: a rescuer enters a room with four hostages and takes three minutes to reach the first hostage, five minutes each to reach the other three, and takes an extra two minutes to catch his breath! How long does it take for him to free the final hostage? The answer is...TWENTY MINUTES!!!"

Raiden stared at the woman emotionlessly before pulling the chains apart. "There you are. God speed, you ungrateful...BITCH!!!"

The woman bursts into tears before departing.

"Yo, Snake? The hostages are saved!"

Snake wakes up from his sleep and answers drowsily, "Oh yeah, yeah, that's great..." Before he can doze off again, Snake notices a shadowy figure hiding on the pipes along the ceiling and quickly wakes up Solidus and Liquid.

"MY EYE!! I CAN'T GO HOME WITHOUT IT!!" Solidus blurts out.

Liquid yawned. "Finally, some action!"

Raiden turns around to see the figure drop down from the ceiling and landing on top of the water.

"Well what have we here?" The man asked.

The rookie appeared nervous. "W...who are YOU?"

"I am that which is beyond the living and the dead. I am forever. I..."

"Oh, so you're like a vampire?"

"Um...uh..."

"Hee! Hee! You sound funny!"

"Shut up!" Vamp snapped. "I am here to send you to your grave! Around you is a special kind of water..."

"Sewage?"

"NO!! If you were to submerge yourself just a little bit more, then you wouldn't come back up!"

"Well thanks for the heads up, man!"

"Take your positive attitude and shove it! I'm going to put you inside a watery grave!"

"Oh yeah? Well..." Raiden paused to think.

"Well what?"

"I can't even think of a comeback right now! But when I do it will be bad! Really, really, really bad! You'll be crying to your mommy and things will be very, very bad for you!"

Vamp stared at Raiden silently and, after a full minute passed, burst out laughing. This also meant that he lost his concentration and fell into the water. As he struggled between laughing and gasping for air, Vamp eventually drowned. All three brothers couldn't help but stare at the screen dumbfounded.

Raiden made his way back to the security room and encounters blank stares from his associates.

"Did you guys see that? I single-handedly defeated the vampire guy!"

"..."

"And I didn't even raise a finger!"

"..."

"Not too shabby, eh? I'm starting to think that you guys are being hard on me because you sense my hidden tal..."

Snake cuts him off by sticking a tranquilizer in back of his head.

"Nothing...happened..."

"Didn't see a thing," said Solidus.

"He's already made us look bad and I'll be damned if he does it again!" Liquid replied.

Snake grinned. "Let's do what we do best!"

All three proceeded through the various floors of the building freeing hostages while using their wits and brutal tactics to dispose of the pushover guards. After several floors of little to no activity, the trio eventually come to the staircase leading to the twentieth floor.

Liquid breathed heavily. "How many floors are in this damn building?! If I'd known there was nothing to see six or seven floors down, I would have taken the bloody elevator!"

Solidus replied, " Either that or I would have ran all the way to the top leaving anything in my way burned to dust! Plus, it's good excercise."

"Welcome to my world! I go through things like this all the time! A mission could take three hours, eight hours, even an entire day! If you two were more dedicated to the mission and spent less time bickering about little things..."

Both cut Snake off. "OH SHUT IT!!"

"I wonder if the little shrimp has woken up by now?" Liquid wondered.

Solidus rolled his eyes. "Probably."

Several floors down, Raiden comes to an area with several burnt corpses.

"Eww...human barbecue! Snake, can you hear me?"

The veteran responded, "We're almost at the top. Good luck getting here."

"Hmm..."

Exhaustingly, the trio brave the flight of stairs and come to the top floor where Fortune stands with her back to them. Raiden is on the other side of the room pointing a gun at her.

"How did you get here so fast, kid?!" Snake asked.

"The elevator, silly!"

Liquid curses in various languages.

"Come on, Liquid, we're all adults here." Snake said.

"No shit!"

Raiden gasped. "Whoa! What potty language!"

"Except him..." Snake muttered.

Fortune finally greeted them. "Welcome sons of Big Boss! I've been expecting you."

"You've been planning this?"

"Of course! What better way to meet such worthy adversaries who can help me reach my fate and provide the battle of a lifetime than by luring here the sons of the legendary soldier!"

Liquid had a bewildered look on his face. "So let me get this straight, you take over the building and take hostages just to lure us here simply because you have a deathwish?!"

Fortune frowned. "I...guess...that's one way of looking at it..."

"So you're just a sadistic psycho bitch!"

"Enough! Come, let us do battle!"

"All right!" Raiden exclaimed.

"You just stay out of it and take notes while you watch the real professionals in action!" Liquid ordered.

"Sigh." Raiden sits against the wall and pulls out a notepad.

"Think fast!"

Being the speed demon that he is, Solidus blazingly runs around Fortune in a circle creating a wall of flames. Confused in the chaos, Fortune takes a random shot from her gun that blows up the elevator doors next to Raiden who is busy taking notes. Seeing how the flames have no effect on Fortune, Solidus attacks with his tentacles. Liquid runs in throwing several punches and kicks while Snake fires his gun. All of this had no effect.

"It looks like it's up to me!"

Raiden pulls out his gun takes a shot at Fortune's head. The bullet repels away and somehow ricochets off the walls and ceiling knocking out the lights. Unable to see where she is going, Fortune walks around frantically but accidentally takes a tumble down the stairs. Everyone turns on their lightsticks and searches for Fortune only to find her unconscious at the bottom of the stairs.

"Did you see that?! I took out another member of Dead Cell!

"..."

"I practically played a part in getting rid of all of them! After all, it was MY blade that popped Fatman! It was what I said that caused Vamp to drown! And it was ME shooting out the lights that caused Fortune to fall down the stairs! Unfortunately, you guys couldn't do anything."

"..."

"I'm practically a natural for this mission! With results like these, I should reach legendary status in no time!"

All three brothers look at each other, then Raiden, and proceed to chase the rookie throughout the building.

Minutes later, the helicopter arrives back at the Foxhound base. Big Boss and Campbell wait nearby as Snake exits the chopper along with Liquid, who is followed lastly by Solidus carrying a taped and gagged Raiden and Fortune under his arms.

Campbell grinned. "So the mission was a success?"

All three walk by silently.

"Sorry, we could only listen in on codec because we were getting some equipment replaced."

"Did anything interesting happen?" Big Boss asked with a smirk.

All three answered simultaneously, "NO!!!"

Snake raised an eyebrow. "I wonder what he wrote on that notepad anyway?"

"No doubt the only smart thing he ever did!" Liquid pulled it out. "He actually took my expert advice and took no...?"

Instead of notes there was a stick figure picture with Liquid's name written above it and the words "Blah, blah, blah" next to the mouth. Raiden somehow broke free and wisely ran like hell.

Liquid opened his mouth, "(Insert mildly offensive and gratuitious remarks here)"

* * *

And that's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed it. 

**Trivia**

**1) **Ch.1 was originally planned as a one shot and Ch. 3-5 was a separate story but I added some things (like the VR chapter and Solidus's eye getting injured) and decided to bring it all together in one fic!

**2) **For those who don't know, the previously mentioned VR missions in Ch. 2 were taken from Metal Gear Solid: Integral or Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions depending on where you live. Check em' out!


End file.
